Amusing Myself to Death
*Disclaimer: I've had lots of requests to write. Consider this "verbal vomit" if you will. This needs lots of work, but I just thought I'd share what's been going on in this head of mine. The humor factor is minimal, I must confess. Please forgive!
Yesterday, I quit Myspace. I know you’re thinking “So what?” You’re right, so what? I’ve been a member of the website that has become some sort of pandemic for two years. Hundreds of comments and 140 friends later, it became too much. It was consuming too much of my time, too much of my thoughts. It sounds slightly crazy in words, but I think many people can relate. I began to realize the importance I was placing on something so fickle and artificial. I knew every person on my friends list, meaning I had met them all face-to-face at some point in my life, save ten or so favorite bands. Some of them I found after not seeing for eight years. Others were coworkers and current friends. People from high school, youth group, former crushes, and college. The network and community that Myspace allows you to form is in fact extraordinary.
It is also sites like Myspace that are slowing transforming the face (no pun intended) of interpersonal communication. It both adds and distracts from the vulnerability of interacting with people face to face. On the one side it gives people a platform to post thoughts, criticisms and opinions that they would not otherwise have the courage to say. It’s much easier for me to tell a boy I miss him through the internet than it is for me to call him or look at him and tell him “I miss you.” Even thinking about it, the latter situation has more impact. On the other hand, the internet and Myspace allow us to appear how we want others to see us. For example, I can construct three “profiles” about myself, all being true, but all making me appear to be a different person:
1. Well, I’ve recently moved to the big city to pursue a career in publishing! Right now, I’m an editor at a small publishing company. I can proudly say that I live on my own and pay all of my own bills. I graduated from college Magna Cum Laude in 2005. I live in a great house in the city. I love to read, write and just hang out with friends. Many evenings you can find me cozy at a coffee shop reading a good book.
2. I like to laugh, talk, read, but most of all go to CONCERTS. I LOVE music, but not just any music, GOOD music. I admit I do like harder stuff like MeWithoutYou and HeIsLegend, but I can’t deny my love for the softer stuff like Sigur Ros and Imogen Heap. I’m one of those crazy people that you see singing along in her car and dancing like a fool. I love living in the city because every band comes here at one time or another. I also live in this great house close to EVERYTHING.
3. I truly hate filling out these “About Me” things, but I’ll give it a try. Sometimes I feel so random and hard to describe so it really makes this a challenge. I really love photography, especially black and white and developing my own film. I also got this great sewing machine for Christmas that I’m hoping to use more – it can be used to create such great things! I love coffee and coffee shops. I like a good read, like Vonnegut or Anne Lammott. I like good music and intelligent conversation.
Just in those three little paragraphs I’ve transformed myself to appeal to the intellectual, the musician, and the artist. All three have some truth to them, but they’re all altered in some fashion to appeal to a certain crowd. Of course there is some ability to do this face to face, but there comes a point when people will see me for me. Not only will they figure out my interests, which may in fact differ from theirs, they’ll also see my flaws. There comes a point in real relationships that you become vulnerable before others. This is something we lose through the internet, but something vital to maintaining close, meaningful relationships. How sad it is that so many people are basing such an important part of existence on something so unauthentic.
Another interesting thing I keep hearing from friends is their inability to move on from past relationships because they have access to ex-loves’ information. All they have to do is click on their page to see if they have a new girlfriend or love interest. This ability prohibits people from putting the past in the past. It works platonically, too. For example, I now live in a new city. I need to meet new people and form a community here if I want any sort of stability. If I constantly consume myself with past friends through the internet I’m going to find it hard to make new friends.
Back to the initial issue of time. It was very easy for me to spend hours on MySpace browsing profiles. Is this really the best use of my time? I can almost tell a distinct difference in my ability to process intelligent thoughts and sit down and read for extended periods of time before the internet became a large part of my life. The internet allows us to have information constantly moving before our eyes without any real thought or effort going into it. My attention span is shot. If you’ve never read Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman I would highly recommend it. I feel like I was doing just that – amusing myself to death.
It probably sounds crazy that I’ve taken something like Myspace and turned it into a manifesto for a better life, but lately I’ve been craving true, vulnerable relationships. The only way to make that happen is to peel my eyes from the screen and get involved in peoples lives.
Yesterday, I quit Myspace. I know you’re thinking “So what?” You’re right, so what? I’ve been a member of the website that has become some sort of pandemic for two years. Hundreds of comments and 140 friends later, it became too much. It was consuming too much of my time, too much of my thoughts. It sounds slightly crazy in words, but I think many people can relate. I began to realize the importance I was placing on something so fickle and artificial. I knew every person on my friends list, meaning I had met them all face-to-face at some point in my life, save ten or so favorite bands. Some of them I found after not seeing for eight years. Others were coworkers and current friends. People from high school, youth group, former crushes, and college. The network and community that Myspace allows you to form is in fact extraordinary.
It is also sites like Myspace that are slowing transforming the face (no pun intended) of interpersonal communication. It both adds and distracts from the vulnerability of interacting with people face to face. On the one side it gives people a platform to post thoughts, criticisms and opinions that they would not otherwise have the courage to say. It’s much easier for me to tell a boy I miss him through the internet than it is for me to call him or look at him and tell him “I miss you.” Even thinking about it, the latter situation has more impact. On the other hand, the internet and Myspace allow us to appear how we want others to see us. For example, I can construct three “profiles” about myself, all being true, but all making me appear to be a different person:
1. Well, I’ve recently moved to the big city to pursue a career in publishing! Right now, I’m an editor at a small publishing company. I can proudly say that I live on my own and pay all of my own bills. I graduated from college Magna Cum Laude in 2005. I live in a great house in the city. I love to read, write and just hang out with friends. Many evenings you can find me cozy at a coffee shop reading a good book.
2. I like to laugh, talk, read, but most of all go to CONCERTS. I LOVE music, but not just any music, GOOD music. I admit I do like harder stuff like MeWithoutYou and HeIsLegend, but I can’t deny my love for the softer stuff like Sigur Ros and Imogen Heap. I’m one of those crazy people that you see singing along in her car and dancing like a fool. I love living in the city because every band comes here at one time or another. I also live in this great house close to EVERYTHING.
3. I truly hate filling out these “About Me” things, but I’ll give it a try. Sometimes I feel so random and hard to describe so it really makes this a challenge. I really love photography, especially black and white and developing my own film. I also got this great sewing machine for Christmas that I’m hoping to use more – it can be used to create such great things! I love coffee and coffee shops. I like a good read, like Vonnegut or Anne Lammott. I like good music and intelligent conversation.
Just in those three little paragraphs I’ve transformed myself to appeal to the intellectual, the musician, and the artist. All three have some truth to them, but they’re all altered in some fashion to appeal to a certain crowd. Of course there is some ability to do this face to face, but there comes a point when people will see me for me. Not only will they figure out my interests, which may in fact differ from theirs, they’ll also see my flaws. There comes a point in real relationships that you become vulnerable before others. This is something we lose through the internet, but something vital to maintaining close, meaningful relationships. How sad it is that so many people are basing such an important part of existence on something so unauthentic.
Another interesting thing I keep hearing from friends is their inability to move on from past relationships because they have access to ex-loves’ information. All they have to do is click on their page to see if they have a new girlfriend or love interest. This ability prohibits people from putting the past in the past. It works platonically, too. For example, I now live in a new city. I need to meet new people and form a community here if I want any sort of stability. If I constantly consume myself with past friends through the internet I’m going to find it hard to make new friends.
Back to the initial issue of time. It was very easy for me to spend hours on MySpace browsing profiles. Is this really the best use of my time? I can almost tell a distinct difference in my ability to process intelligent thoughts and sit down and read for extended periods of time before the internet became a large part of my life. The internet allows us to have information constantly moving before our eyes without any real thought or effort going into it. My attention span is shot. If you’ve never read Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman I would highly recommend it. I feel like I was doing just that – amusing myself to death.
It probably sounds crazy that I’ve taken something like Myspace and turned it into a manifesto for a better life, but lately I’ve been craving true, vulnerable relationships. The only way to make that happen is to peel my eyes from the screen and get involved in peoples lives.
posted by Jenn at 9:25 AM
1 Comments:
Thank you for such a great post. I miss hearing how things are going on in Atlanta. It was really good to see you at that wedding. I have not posted in a while eather. I guess I need to do that. I have not gotten into Myspace yet and I guess I won't thanks for confirming my decision not to get hooked on another site. I hope you have a great day!
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